It was a cup of lemonade on a flight back from Portugal — pink lemonade for Breast Cancer Awareness in October that nudged me to get a second opinion.
Earlier in the spring, I had expressed concern to my GYN about a small sesame-seed sized abnormality in my right breast. She had shrugged off any worry. A few months later in October, on the plane, when I felt for the lump, it had grown to the size of a grape. I made a call the next day for a mammogram… Pink lemonade: I do know firsthand how these little nudges for awareness can save a life!
Nearly three years since those diagnoses, I am still here, feeling like an utterly different person and miracle. I am so thankful for this precious and delicate little gift of time and life. To have watched my form experience so much — I have a new respect for my body and its resilience. I love every inch of this vehicle. You really can’t heal a body you hate.
I’ve become so thankful for the body and all the ways it carries us through such ups and downs — such a range of feelings — providing us the full experience that is life. The more I learn, the more I value this vessel… The scars become the clinks of a raised glass. The wrinkles, dimples, pain — the drips of wine and memory…
What I’d like to assert most of all is that self acceptance and self care don’t always come naturally, but, rather, with rebellious and sometimes grief-fueled dedication to a sense of safety, pleasure, and joy in one’s body. Engaging my senses, delighting in the sensations of my skin… I push beyond the discomfort to find the magic.
We often see strength and confidence and get misled by an idea of ease, not seeing the difficulty, forgetting the deliberation and tenacity it takes to assert oneself with confidence and love.
And for any folks with boobs (most of you!), Danielle has a couple pointers for you