Katie Blanksma - LOS ANGELES, CA

Occupation: Writer & model
Bedtime: 11:30 PM
Morning: 7:30 AM

What excites you most about your current age? 
Hmmm. That’s hard to answer. At the moment, I’m not excited, but I’m working on it. My most recent birthday, June 28, was my golden birthday. I always thought I’d have a big celebration with friends and family and champagne — the whole works. But I didn’t. I never even left the house. I don’t know if this makes me a typical, eye-rolling millennial (which, actually, I might be too old to be), but it’s been difficult for me to square my expectations for myself with my current reality which seems wildly off the mark (typical, methinks, of someone in the middle of a total life shift). I have a lot of work to do before I’ll be truly excited about celebrating another notch in that belt.

What has surprised you most about the phase of life you're in?
I always imagined that I’d be done with grad school by now. I haven’t even applied yet because, true to classic KJ form, I’m indecisive about what I want for my future. In my mind, my twenties have been a pretty epic waste because of my indecision. BUT out of that perceived falling-short-of-expectations has come one overwhelming and surprising truth: the ceaseless support of friends and family. It blows my mind, but a lot of really incredible people whom I admire a great deal think I’m capable. I don’t get it, but wow am I floored and humbled and thrilled to have that support.

Who or what inspires you?
My grandmother, Kay, and mom, Joyce (see, that’s where I get my name: Kay + Joyce = Katie Joy). Over the years I’ve come to realize that we all have the same soul — creative, purpose-driven, inhibited, self-defeating, full of hope and overwhelmed by dread all at the same time. We’ve all led incredibly different lives because of the generations that raised us, but share the same internal struggle. Every day is an all-out battle between opposing forces within. That terrifies me. It’s like looking into my own future when I see the wholeness of their lives. But it also inspires me because I know what they’re capable of, which means I know what I’m capable of.

What's a fear that you have? 
Failure. I can’t shake it. I’m not afraid of being alone forever. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of making really, really big and terrible mistakes. But I’ll be damned if I never make something of myself and my career that I’m proud of. I guess, what I mean by failure, is that I’m afraid to find out that maybe I don’t really have what it takes. Not that I even know what ‘it’ is half the time...

Rachel Jones